Brains are dumb.

Brain + Biopsy.

So, earlier this week I had to have a biopsy to check some pre-cancerous cells. I still haven’t received the results of that biopsy. Needless to say, this basically took over my life. This is how my week went:

Monday: Biopsy appointment at midday, Dr was running an hour late… got home and slept for four hours following appointment due to exhaustion from anxiety/physical pain of procedure. Did very little Monday evening.

Tuesday: Went to design conference ALL DAY from 8am – 5:30pm. This is an incredibly long day for me. It was very tiring, due to it all being inside at same dim location (a beautiful old cinema). Then walked across town to meet friend, had dinner, walked back to her place to watch a scary movie.

Wednesday: Needless to say, I slept like a log last night. Worked onsite for three hours today. Made the stupid decision to brave going into Spotlight for some Christmas related things I needed… it was hideous. I felt so anxious and wanted to get out as soon as I stepped in the door. Managed to buy the things I needed, plus a cute little Yankee Candle air freshener for my car, as a little reward for surviving the experience. I think I made a noodle thing for dinner this night. Then I did some late night baking and made some (not very good, quite gooey) gluten-free berry-choc muffins. Ordered some vitamins & a birthday present for a new baby online. That night I attempted to sew my first ever zipper!

Thursday: Worked from home today. I know I had a nap, have had a raging headache all week from stress that seems to only be cured by sleep. Definitely did some more unpacking/house-tidying today too. Had to send an invoice. Cooked some chicken for use over next few days. Gave myself a mani/pedi while watching Netflix. Painted paws & claws for the first time in months.

Friday: Worked from home today too. Had terrible sleep last night, so basically got up made a cup of tea then napped for a couple of hours. Vitamins arrived in mail, so I walked up the drive in the rain to get them. As soon as I had energy again, I caught up on some work and decided to make some food in preparation for low-energy days coming up. I made: baba ganoush, chocolate coconut oil rice-krispie slice, chicken & spinach pasta for dinner, boiled some eggs & soaked some cashews for use Saturday. THEN I sewed a new casing for my wheat bag.

Anyway, the point of this long-winded diary of my week, is to illustrate that even when we feel like we’ve achieved nothing, we usually have done something. As I wrote this, I was pretty surprised at how quickly the days filled up with stuff.

Our brains have a tendency to put more pressure on themselves than we realise. Along the journey as we get back into ‘normality’ it feels bad to be slipping back, to have down days. But it’s just part of the package with Mental Health. There have been plenty of days in my past when I’ve literally written ‘got out of bed to go to the bathroom’ or ‘made myself a cup of tea’ as a thing I achieved that day. So I’m trying to remember this, and feel proud of myself for actually achieving rather a lot in that week.

I guess, the moral of this story is… Be kind to yourselves x


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One comment:

  1. Hey girl, that is a pretty great journal and an awesome idea about documenting what you do each day as a reflection of realising how much we actually can get out of it.

    Sending you a bunch of love and light for the test results to come back all good and everything be ok! I am sure it is all going to work out lovely.

    PS! I need that rice crispie slice recipe. PLEASE!

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